BEGINNING TANTRIC SEX

 

Tantric sex teaches that there is more potential for pleasure in the journey toward fulfillment then the moment of arrival.

Tantric sex is an art - it’s not concerned with fancy techniques or even more achieving a particular end. The magical difference it can make to your sex life is, paradoxically, the result of "not doing". Tantra celebrates sex and sexuality, teaching that physical pleasure in oneself and one's partner is the key to pleasure in life, and a higher state of being.

Taking time for tantra:

Take time - tantra is about the moment, not about goal, not, in short, about rushing toward climax. The time will come when it’s much less important to reach orgasm then it is to experience the harmony of your male and female energies. Because of the lasting effects Tantra can have, the pursuit of orgasm - a fleeting moment of satisfaction - is no longer the ultimate goal. Everyone yearns for intimacy, unity and harmony with their partner. Tantra offers a way to achieve this goal.

Before you begin:

IN HARMONY

When you begin your journey using tantra, it’s a journey you and your partner take together, so it’s essential that you have both agreed to pursue it.

SLOW AND GENTLE

It is important that you make space and time as you start your tantric journey. Arrange a time every week - making a commitment to this voyage of discovery will help you put you in the mood.

AN INTIMATE SPACE

You need first to set the stage - create a space that pleases all your senses, where you feel relaxed and happy, and possess a feeling of calm. Keep lighting subdued and scent the room with fragrance of soothing oils.

A SENSUAL PLACE

In tantra your bed is not simply a place to sleep - it should be transformed into a haven of sensuality - add drapes and seductive selection of fabrics and textures.

BEGINNING A TANTRIC RITUAL

This tantra ritual aims to deepen trust and appreciation of one another, through sensual contact and breathing. Remember, climax is not the goal of this exercise. Tantra rituals and exercises are about learning to relax into pleasure, to truly feel the energy connections you have with your partner. They help to make orgasm a whole body experience rather then a specific one - life enhancing rather then a moment's fleeting pleasure.

* Honor your partner - Stand a short distance apart, bow to each other and then gaze into one another's eyes. On your in-breath, imagine your energy being drawn to your heart; on the out-breath let your foreheads meet. Before moving on, clear the air of frustrations and resentments you feel.

* Heart to heart - Standing opposite your partner, gazing into his eyes put your right hand on his heart: as you inhale, imagine breathing in his heart energy; as you exhale, breathe the energy of your heart into his.

* Eroticism of touch - Discover the extraordinary sensuality of touch, using sensual fabrics and feathers, the tips of your fingers and the lightest of breaths. Gently stroke your partner's naked body first with a feather, or with a soft, sensuous silk scarf, moving from his neck slowly down toward his feet. Do the same again with your finger tips and breath. This is not foreplay - it is giving and receiving exercise.

* Honor yoni and lingam -  Make sure that you feel relaxed and comfortable before starting this exercise, in which your partner takes the time to appreciate your yoni (the female genitals) and you then look at and appreciate his lingam (the male genitals). This helps to deepen trust and increase a sense of oneness.

* Connecting souls - Once you truly experience the pleasure of skin against skin, the connection of yoni and lingam without movement, you open yourself to the wonderful experience of lasting pleasure. Sit in the yab-yom position: facing one another, spines and hearts aligned, sexually connected but without moving. Maintain eye contact and focus on sensuality. In this way you will begin to feel sex connecting you - heart and soul, as well as physically.

This beginning ritual will help break down any barriers to deeper trust. Consider each step as an exercise in giving and receiving.

CREATING A TANTRIC RELATIONSHIP

Mutual respect is essential to a successful tantric partnership. Open yourself to the principles of tantra - the union of Shiva and Shakti, the Hindu terms for male and female aspects of the divine.

Equal partnership - Let go of any sense of inequality in your relationship. A tantric relationship is a meeting of equals, a coming together of male and female energy forces, and harnessing them to create a powerful force for pleasure.

Give and receive - Remember that Tantric sex is not about one partner doing something to the other. It is about honoring one another, about giving and receiving, about simply being, and seeing where the being takes you.

Taking turns - To maintain balance in your relationship, take turns organizing your tantra session and deciding which exercises you'd like to do.

Tantra teaches us all to appreciate the power of touch, deepening your physical and spiritual connection.

 

Sources: My own sources, book of beginning tantric sex. You, friendship and love, spiritual sexuality. Chapter 13 page 4.

Lisa Tarrance